The Beginning of the End of Breastfeeding

I suppose that title sounds a little more dramatic than I intended, but that doesn't negate the fact that it is a pretty big deal to me that I have dropped one of Lilah's daytime nursing sessions. As I mentioned in my last post, it seemed to make sense to drop the mid-morning feeding that she normally would have had when she woke from her morning nap given that we have eliminated said nap. She is still nursing 3 times a day (and twice in the night... but that is a separate issue altogether) so we have plenty of opportunities to strengthen our mother-daughter bond, relax, and enjoy a few quiet moments together. Even so, it makes me sad to think that I only have a few more months left to enjoy it.

I have thoroughly enjoyed the breastfeeding experience and it will be quite a transition for me when I give it up (probably more so than for Lilah). I know I don't have to give it up because many people breastfeed for much longer than I plan to, but I am going to given that I would like to have another child at some point in the not-so-distant future and don't want to be nursing two children at the same time nor do I want to be breastfeeding a child that is old enough to ask to be nursed. I do plan on continuing to nurse first thing in the morning and at night before bedtime for an indefinite period of time (most likely until I am well into my next pregnancy unless Lilah gives them up on her own), but by the time Lilah is 18 months I will most likely have given up her mid-afternoon feeding and both night feedings.

I will be spending the next few months making the most of the nursing sessions Lilah and I have left and will look forward to starting the process all over again with our next child. At this point in time, I really can't foresee myself doing much of anything differently with the next child aside from perhaps trying to reduce night feedings down to one per night earlier such that it doesn't become as much of a habit as it has with Lilah (again, a completely separate issue that I will probably discuss in another post).

One nap a day...still adjusting!

We have officially made the transition to one nap a day! Over the course of the last couple of weeks, Lilah was skipping her afternoon nap more often than she was taking one so I decided it must be time. We have been on the one-nap-a-day schedule for about 3 days now and things seem to be working themselves out. Lilah has been eating an earlier lunch at around 11:30am and then going down for her nap at about 12:00/12:15pm. Ideally, I would like her to be eating lunch closer to noon and going down for her nap at about 1:00pm. I will try to push her a little later each day and we will get there eventually. As with any transition, I need to be patient.

Of course, there are pros and cons to our new routine...

Pros:

+She has been falling asleep almost instantly because she is dead tired come nap time and she has been sleeping for about 2 hours which is about the same amount of time she was sleeping for when she was taking two naps.
+She is getting a solid chunk of sleep rather than two shorter stints which I think is more beneficial as far as sleep goes.
+We have a much longer chunk of time in the morning to get out and/or play

Cons:

-Lunch time has become a little more challenging because she is quite tired and, therefore, more fussy and less likely to eat a decent lunch (I am hoping this will change as we settle into our new routine).
-I haven't been getting through the shower and ready for the day until after noon which needs to change. I am planning on getting into the routine of showering before my husband leaves for work which should solve this particular problem.
-I am still adjusting to not having a break in the morning. The days seem much longer, but I am sure I will adjust as well.

Other notes:

-The change in nap schedule has had no effect on her nighttime wakings. I had hoped that perhaps giving up one of her naps would lead to longer stretches of sleep at night. No such luck!
-I have decided to drop her mid-morning nursing session and replace it with a snack. I am not ready to give up nursing, but because she would normally nurse when she woke from her morning nap it just seemed to make sense to drop that particular feeding along with the nap. She isn't asking to be nursed and doesn't seem to miss it. I felt as though she needed to be eating a little more solid food than she was so this should help with that as well.

This is only the beginning of a year of constant change! Hold onto your hats, hopefully it is not going to be too bumpy of a ride.

On a different note, it is becoming more challenging to find time to sit down and write these days, but stay tuned because one of my resolutions was to make more time to blog. I have a lot of ideas for posts and several in the works!

Reflections on the First Year, Part 1

I can't believe how quickly we are approaching my daughter's 1st birthday! This year has passed by so fast. Although I wrote about many of these experiences and the feelings that I had when I started this blog over 8 months ago, I wanted to take some time to refelct on them again a year later...

Due Date Approaching (Dec. 15th, 2009)...
A year ago today I was 10 days away from my due date. I remember feeling huge and tired of being pregnant, but anxious and excited to meet our baby (and find out the gender). I was definitely apprehensive about my upcoming labour and delivery (because I had no idea what it was going to be like...no books can prepare you) and I was looking forward to, but a little worried about breast-feeding. It was a very emotional time.

Due Date Passed...
As I passed my due date, all of these feelings grew more intense. Waiting was really hard. Then we had a decision to make. It was a couple of days before Christmas and I was almost a week overdue. We had the option of continuing to wait, which meant that we would have to make regular trips to the hospital on Christmas Day, Boxing Day and so on to check the baby's vitals and make sure everything was fine. Or, we could go in and try Cervidil (a cervical ripening agent in the form of a tampon-like insert) and hope that labour would start on its own. This was a really hard decision to make because I was adamant about having a natural birth and if we decided to go with the Cervidil and it didn't work, we would be headed down a potentially unnatural path with no option of going back. My husband and I talked at length about our options and I shed more than a few tears. In the end we opted to go with the Cervidil and luckily, my water broke the next morning and I was able to have my all-natural birth!

Baby's First Christmas...
Last Christmas is a complete blur. I really wanted to be home for Christmas so we left the hospital in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve, exactly 24 hours after Lilah was born. It was a nerve-racking drive home. I don't remember much about Christmas Day because I was so exhausted! Those first few days were definitely rough and I am so thankful that we were staying with my parents and that I had my mom there to help me out and provide support. My husband was AMAZING too! I made it through the early days of breastfeeding and the engorgement, the labour recovery and the sleeplessness and I have nothing but positive, happy memories about all of those early experiences. I feel incredibly lucky that I made it through labour and delivery and the first few weeks post-partum without any problems.

Sleeplessness...
We didn't get a lot sleep in those early days and I haven't had a full night's sleep to this day. Yes, my daughter is still waking twice in the night to nurse. I won't say that it wouldn't be nice to sleep through the night, but I made the choice to breastfeed knowing full well that it is completely normal for breastfed babies to continue to nurse in the night for several years (if one was to choose to breastfeed for that long) unless they are trained otherwise. I was never really keen on the idea of using sleep training to get her to give up the night feeds although there were a couple of nights several months ago when I did let her cry it out in an effort to get her to drop a couple of her night feedings (she was averaging 3-4 night feedings well into the second half of her first year which I no longer felt was necessary). I was hoping that she would be sleeping though the night by her 1st birthday, but without implementing more sleep training, that just isn't going to happen. I am currently debating trying to get her to drop one more feeding before her birthday so that I am only nursing her once a night, but have yet to find the right time to do that given that I am still working a couple of days a week and we will soon be travelling for the holidays and she will be sleeping in a strange room for several weeks. People ask me how I do it, but it is so normal now that it really doesn't bother me. I get enough sleep, I am able to go to work, I have energy and I am able to function like a relatively normal person so I guess I don't really have a lot of motivation to train her to sleep thorough the night and I could care less about the social pressures that say babies should be sleeping through the night by a certain age. I am doing what is right and works for Lilah and I and that is all that matters. I have a happy, healthy, thriving baby girl...what more could I ask for.

To be continued...

Funny Video (Why I Can't Make Mom Friends)

I wanted to share this funny video I watched a couple a days ago on another parenting blog that I follow. It made me laugh really hard! This video represents the extreme version of what it really feels like sometimes when talking to other moms (and it made me wonder if I sound like one of these women sometimes too...LOL!) I did see glimpses of myself in each of them at different point in the video, but overall, I would like to think that I fall somewhere in the middle regarding most of the issues that are discussed. Check it out for a good laugh!

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7148143/?ref=nf

Puree to Chunky to Finger Food: Making the Transition

It wasn't difficult to make the transition from smooth, pureed foods to chunkier purees because I tried from the very beginning when making Lilah's baby food, to make it thicker and chunkier than what you would find in the store. We did have our fair share of gagging and even a couple of puking episodes, but for the most part it was a pretty smooth transition.

Making the transition from chunky purees to finger foods and non-pureed foods has been a little more challenging for us because Lilah only has 2 bottom teeth. This made biting and chewing a little more difficult. I stuck with foods that were easy to mash for quite some time which limited the kinds of foods Lilah could eat on her own. However, as soon as I started to introduce finger foods, I made it a goal to give her something that she could feed herself at every meal. At first, very little of it ended up in her mouth, but now she has it mastered! Although it started as a way of getting her used to feeding herself and eating finger foods, it has become a great tool to keep her calm when I am preparing her meals (especially when she is particularly hungry) and it keeps her distracted while I am feeding her which can make the feeding process a lot easier.

Lilah's top 2 teeth are finally coming in and even though they have just come through the gum, I have noticed a big change in her ability to bite and chew and have been able to introduce more variety into her finger food diet. We are now starting to work on holding a spoon and using it to scoop food out of a bowl. I realize this is a very difficult skill to master and that it won't happen for some time, but the more practice she gets the better. We try to give her a spoon to hold onto/play with at each meal and occasionally give her a bowl as well (although it is usually empty aside from a few Cheerios). I have been letting her scoop out the last few bites of the food that I feed to her so she gets some practice at actually feeding herself (even though most of it ends up smeared on her face!)

Below I have listed some Lilah Tested and Approved Finger Food Ideas (most of which are fast and easy)...

-toast with a little butter
-french toast
-scrambled eggs/pieces of omelet filled with cheese
-grilled cheese sandwich fingers
-grapes
-banana
-rice crackers
-teething biscuits
-Gerber puffs
-shredded cheese/thinly sliced cheese
-cheerios
-pancakes
-small pasta shells
-kiwi fruit

Why are you here?

Be forewarned, this is a rant...

Lilah and I are taking a music class together which we both LOVE! It is so much fun. I have watched Lilah learn how to play a variety of instruments, recognize songs, dance and interact with other children. It has been a wonderful experience.

Except...

For the group of mothers that rarely participate, use class as a social gathering rather than an experience for their child, ridicule parents that do participate and generally look like they would rather be anywhere else in the world each and every class. I really don't get it. Why are you here?

Sadly, it is the one aspect of the class that I don't enjoy. Some might say "just ignore them", but we sit together in one big group and sing songs, dance and play instruments together so it is hard to just ignore them. As parents, our role is to participate and act as models for our children and the other children in the class. My daughter doesn't only watch me, she watches what the other children and adults in the group are doing and learns from all of them. I am singing and dancing and generally acting silly for my daughter, but for their children too. Would it be too much to ask for them to do the same?

Of course, we have not allowed this to ruin our experience. We have met a lot of wonderful people in the class and have even become good friends with some. We have signed up to take the class again and may run into the same situation which may prompt me to rant on my blog again, but that is what a blog is for right?

Mommy Wars

As a parent, you want to believe that you are making the best choices for your child. Who wouldn't? Many of you have probably interacted with parents that vehemently stand by these decisions. I definitely have my own opinions on particular topics and I would stand by them if confronted about them. That being said, I know I don't have all or even most of the answers and I am willing to listen to the conversations that are going on in the world around me in an effort to make sure I am making the most informed decisions that I can for my daughter. Sadly, there are some parents that are so sure of their decisions that they ignore factual evidence to the contrary. The belief that vaccinations cause autism is one case that I have recently encountered. I am not going to go into detail on this particular issue as I posted some time ago about it. The only point I would like to emphasize is that there is no scientific evidence linking autism to vaccinations and this has been shown over and over again in studies looking at the causes of autism.

Of course, as a parent you want to make the best choices for your child and it is difficult given the amount of information, and more importantly, misinformation out there to wade through. Everyone has the right to make their own decisions and I totally support that, but if I can ask one thing it is that every parent does their own research before making any kind of major decision for their child. Don't listen to the rumors, here say, speculation and conjecture that is out there. Research reputable sources (ie. not the first hit you get from Google). Search Google Scholar instead of Google to find scholarly information. Read the information posted on reputable websites such as the American Academy of Pediatrics, the Center for Disease Control or websites for your local health unit. I know that it is hard to trust science sometimes given that we later find out that some scientists are willing to fabricate data and pop science sometimes leaves out important details when presenting data to the general public. But if we can't put some trust in science to tell us what is right and wrong, I think we are in big trouble.

I titled this blog post mommy wars because I sometimes feel like rather than working together to make the right decisions for our children, we mothers are fighting against each other in an effort to defend our own positions (whether they be right or wrong). Everyone has something to contribute to the conversation and we can help each other immensely, but we have to be willing to listen to one another and keep an open mind if any of us are going to be good parents.