I'm a Big Girl Now!

I can’t believe we just celebrated Lilah’s 2^nd birthday! The last two years have gone by so quickly. Lilah is becoming a little girl right before our eyes. The last 6 months have been filled with incredible change. Only 6 short months ago, Lilah was saying just a few words. Today, she is talking up a storm, using full sentences and more words than I ever would have dreamt of 6 months ago! Her ability to play independently has really blossomed and her imagination is running away with itself. In addition to all of the developmental changes, we just recently tackled the transition from crib to bed!

Sleeping in a ‘Big Girl’ Bed:

Whenever we asked Lilah when she was going to sleep in the bed she would say, “When the baby comes.” In her mind, she was going to be able to sleep in the crib until the baby needed it. However, we knew we wanted to try to make the transition about the time of her birthday. We had been talking a lot about it and had been putting a full sized pillow in her crib for several weeks with the hope that would also help with the transition (I have always thought that it must be a strange concept to go from sleeping without a pillow for 2+ years to having one).

We gave Lilah her ‘big girl’ bedding for her birthday in hopes that it would get her even more excited about sleeping in the bed. We put all of the bedding on her bed right away and asked her every afternoon and night if she wanted to sleep in it, but she wouldn’t have it. About a week later, she actually expressed an interest in sleeping in it for her nap so I ran with it. I thought that staying in the bed with her might help, but after a few minutes of her wanting to play, I decided that wasn’t going to work. Luckily, she wasn’t concerned that I was leaving. I ended up going back in the room 3 times to get her back into bed, but she eventually fell asleep and took her nap as per usual. That night, we decided to try again and she was totally happy about going to sleep in the bed and went off to sleep without a sound. I checked on her more times than was really necessary because I was paranoid about her falling out (she still isn’t very good at staying in one place), but I only had to adjust her once.

The next day, she decided that she wanted to sleep in her crib for her nap which I let her do because I didn’t want to push the bed if she wasn’t feeling 100% ready. It was a step back, but I wasn’t worried. That night, she went to sleep in the bed without a problem and is sleeping there today for her nap!

It is so strange to look in at her sleeping in the bed. It seems like such a huge step! It hasn’t been nearly as hard for me as transitioning her from the bassinet to the crib, but I am feeling a little nostalgic anyway. My little girl is growing up!

Our next goal: Potty training!

The Final Stages of Weaning

I am very proud to be able to say that I breastfed my daughter for the first 19 months of her life. I set out in the very beginning with the goal of reaching 18 months and luckily was able to achieve that goal without any complications. The length of time for which a mother decides to breastfeed is a very personal choice and there are a number of factors that go into making the decision to stop. Sadly, there are many mothers out there that would love to have breastfed for a longer period of time, but for whatever reason, were not able to. My heart goes out to those mothers and I applaud every mother that makes an attempt at breastfeeding regardless of how long they decide to do it for.

People have asked me what it was like to nurse an 18 month old, how I went about weaning, and whether weaning was a challenging experience. So, here goes…

Nursing an 18 months old…
I really think that the personality of the child has a huge impact on whether a mother can continue to breastfeed well into the second year of life. My daughter is a calm, cuddly child and was easy to breastfeed until 19 months. She was always gentle, never really begged for it or pulled on my clothing, and never really made it an issue. When I think about baby #2 and the possibility that it could be a rambunctious boy, I wonder if I will be able to nurse for as long.

The weaning process…
I was consistently nursing my daughter 3 times a day (morning, after nap, night). This had been our schedule for months and months and I was really worried about weaning as a result. My daughter always seemed very attached to nursing. After waking in the morning and from her nap, that would be the first and ONLY thing she wanted to do. If there was even the slightest bit of deviation from the routine, she would be get upset. In addition, I had never put her to bed at night without nursing her and worried that she would no longer go to bed easily. Needless to say, I was anxious about the whole weaning process. Let me just say, I had nothing to be anxious about because it was significantly easier than I ever expected it to be. Perhaps we were just both ready, but I was unwilling to admit that it was time for that particular aspect of our mother-daughter relationship to come to an end.

I decided to start by weaning my daughter from the after-nap nursing session as I thought this would be the easiest one to drop. Looking back, this was actually the most challenging one to get rid of. We happened to be staying with my parents at the time so I decided to have my mom get Lilah up from her nap for a few days while I stayed hidden until she seemed to be over the fact that I wasn’t going to nurse her. Our strategy was to get her a snack right away, something she really enjoyed, in an attempt to get her mind off of nursing. The first day was the hardest because she cried and asked for me and for milk, but my mom was able to distract her and she got over it in a relatively short period of time. The next couple of days were similar, but each day it seemed easier to distract her. By the fourth day, I was getting her up from her nap again and everything was fine. She did ask for it a few times and I simply told her that I didn’t have any milk for her and that she would have to wait until bedtime and this response seemed sufficient.

I had intended on keeping her morning and night feedings for several more weeks, but a few short weeks later, I inadvertently forgot to nurse her one night. About an hour after I had put her to bed, I realized that I had forgot and then realized that she didn’t ask for it, it didn’t take her any longer to fall asleep…nothing. I decided to run with it and just stopped feeding her at night. We had been giving her a cup of milk during bedtime stories for several weeks so nursing was more of a comfort thing than anything else. It almost made sense that she didn’t seem to care that it wasn’t happening anymore. Regardless. I really was very surprised that it was so easy.

I was convinced that getting rid of the morning feeding would be the hardest on both of us because we had a really nice routine of getting her out of her crib, bringing her to our room, nursing her and cuddling in bed for awhile before we had to get up for the day. I think I was the one that was dreading dropping this feeding because it would mean I would have to hop out of bed and get right to making breakfast rather than slowly waking up in bed. Anyway, I decided to bite the bullet and once again, was surprised at how easy it all was. My daughter didn’t really seem to care that I wasn’t nursing her anymore and was perfectly content to hang out for an hour or so before I gave her breakfast. One of the wonderful outcomes of dropping the morning feeding was that Lilah started to sleep longer. She had been waking around 6am for weeks and some mornings would be up even earlier than that. Once I dropped the morning feeding, she started sleeping longer and longer and for the past several weeks has consistently been sleeping until 7am or later. It may be a coincidence that she is sleeping longer, but I really think the two are at least somewhat related.

In the end, weaning was probably more difficult for me than it was for my daughter. I really think we were both ready for it even if one of us didn’t want to admit it…not mentioning any names. The pregnancy did play a role in speeding up the process, but it would have happened anyway. It was a sad day when I nursed her for the last time, but I will cherish the 19 months we did have for the rest of my life and I very much look forward to going through it all again in 6 months time!

Breastfeeding and Pregnancy

It is a well know fact (or it at least should be) that it is possible to conceive while breastfeeding. While it is true that you cannot get pregnant until your cycle resumes, it is impossible to know when that is going to happen.

Based on my experience, it seems to be a less-well-know-fact that you can continue to breastfeed throughout pregnancy if you so choose. As long as you are feeling well and there are no concerns on your physician’s end, there is nothing stopping you from breastfeeding throughout your entire pregnancy and beyond if you decide to tandem breastfeed after you deliver. I personally chose to fully wean my daughter by the end of my first trimester, but there really wasn’t any reason why I couldn’t have continued to nurse if I wanted.

My reasons for weaning my daughter were varied. I found the first few months of pregnancy to be extremely exhausting which I am sure was exaggerated by the fact that I was nursing. Toward to the end of the first trimester I started to find nursing to be quite uncomfortable (in fact, it vaguely started reminding me of the early days of engorgement…enough said). From the beginning, I had the goal of 18 months in mind when I started on my breastfeeding journey and around that time I started to feel like I was ready anyway despite being pregnant. Even if I wasn’t pregnant, I think I still would have made the decision to wean when I did. I am proud to say I made it to the 19 month mark and aim to do the same with second…I think.

Breastfeeding takes a huge amount of commitment. Breastfeeding during pregnancy requires something altogether different. Tandem nursing is in a realm that I can’t even wrap my head around. I am proud that I was able to nurse for as long as I did, but I could never imagine nursing with a burgeoning belly and most definitely couldn’t imagine nursing a toddler and a newborn at the same time! Some people do it and my hat goes off to them. I think it is sad that our society has put such a social stigma on breastfeeding beyond a certain age and that mothers who choose to tandem nurse are portrayed as complete wacko’s in social media. There was even a news story recently about a woman being kicked out of a public place for nursing. It completely boggles my mind how such an ‘advanced’ society can be so stupid and judgmental. Okay, now I am ranting…

I'M BACK!

It has been far too long since I last blogged, but life has been just a little crazy lately. I suppose I should get used to that because with baby # 2 on the way, it certainly isn’t going to get any less chaotic. Yes, you read that right…we are expecting our second child this February! We are overjoyed to have another baby on the way and excited about a sibling for our growing-up-faster-than-we-can-believe-it daughter.

In addition to being pregnant, we made a big move from Baltimore to Chicago this summer, I went through the process of fully weaning our daughter, and I dealt with the first death in my family. Needless to say, it has been a busy few months with little time to sit down and write. Now that we are settling in our new home and I am entering my second trimester, I am finding I have a little more time on my hands and a little more energy to sit down, think, and write. I am excited about getting back into the swing of blogging because I am sure there will be plenty to share about pregnancy, raising a toddler and life as a mother of two. Stay tuned!

First Potty Poop!

Lilah took her first poop on the toilet today! Yes, she is only 17 months old. No, I don't think it was a conscious choice. I just happened to catch her at the right moment and get her onto the toilet at just the right time. Is she going to let me know when she needs to poop from here on out...highly doubtful. Am I alright with that? ABSOLUTELY!

Toilet training is a process. When to start, which equipment to choose, which approach to take...the answers to these questions are going to be very different for every child and every family. You know your child best. The most important thing you can do is pay attention to the skills your child has and the cues that your child exhibits. Familiarize yourself with how your child learns best and base your decisions on that information. Remember to choose a non punitive approach, provide lots of support and encouragement and relax and enjoy the process.

When To Start

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, "most children become physiologically ready for toilet training at around eighteen months of age—that is, their digestive system and bladder have matured to the point where they can delay a bowel movement or urination long enough to get to a potty." It is important to note, however, that children "are usually not cognitively ready—able to associate the need to eliminate with potty use, to remember to use it, and to resist distraction long enough to complete the process—until sometime after their second birthday."

Armed with this information, I decided it couldn't hurt to get a child toilet seat and at least start to get Lilah used to the whole idea of toilet training. She was very excited when it arrived and was eager to use her new Elmo step stool to get up onto the toilet. For several weeks, I have been letting her sit on it when she has shown interest and we have also been trying to get into the routine of using it before her bath! More recently, there have been a few occasions when I have been able to 'catch her' just as she is about to have a bowel movement. Before today, putting her on the seat has been unsuccessful. Regardless, we talk about telling Mommy when you need to poop so that we can poop in the toilet instead of in the diaper. Eventually she will catch on.

Choosing a Potty

I opted to go the step stool/child seat that goes directly on the toilet route. Choosing whether to use a potty chair or a child seat is definitely a personal choice. I don't believe there is any evidence out there that suggests one works better than the other. Personally, I could not stand the idea of having to dump out and clean a potty every time my child went to the toilet! Gross! I would rather be able to just pull the flush! That being said, there are a number of factor to consider when deciding which option is right for you.

I went with the Baby Bjorn toilet trainer. http://www.babybjorn.com/us/products/bathroom/toilet-trainer/toilet-trainer/.
It fits snugly and securely onto the toilet seat and the opening is the perfect size (even for my daughter's tiny little bottom). It has a small rubber handle on the back making it easy to hang on a potty hook.
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=4020541

The Process of Toilet Training

I am fully aware that this process is going to take a long time and I am most definitely not in a rush. I fear that far too many children experience unnecessary pressure when it comes to toilet training and end up having very negative experiences which may or may not delay the process and/or affect their development.

I know that I am beginning the process of toilet training very early by most standards, but my intentions at this point are not to have Lilah fully toilet trained anytime in the near future. Right now, it is just about getting her used to the equipment, familiarizing her with the process, and talking and reading about it. My job as a parent is to keep my eyes open for the signs that she is ready. For now, we are taking things one step at a time...it will happen when it happens.

One final point...

A girl has a vagina. A boys has a penis. Poop comes out of our bum and pee comes out of our vagina or penis. Start your children off on the right track by giving body parts and bodily functions their proper name. One of my biggest pet peeves is when parents don't do this!

Happy toilet training!

For more information on toilet training go visit HealthyChildren.org: (http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddler/toilet-training/Pages/default.aspx)

Practicing for the Doctor: It just might work!

Lilah's 12 month doctor's appointment was a bit of a challenge. She started crying as soon as we put her up on the table for the nurse to weigh and measure her and take her temperature. The crying continued and then increased when it came time for the needles and she didn't really stop until we left the office.

Needless to say, I was very motivated to do what I could to prevent the situation from happening again. The last thing I want is for my daughter to develop a fear and hatred for the doctor. I asked around for some advice and a friend suggested buying a book about visiting the doctor.

We went out the next day and bought a book about going to the doctor and started reading it on a regular basis. A few weeks later, Lilah's grandparents bought her a doctor's kit and we stared playing with kit while reading the book. Lilah quickly came to understand the names for the instruments and how to use them. We played with a stethoscope, thermometer, needle, and ear/eye/throat light to name but a few. We had also put a height chart on the wall and talked about it as we went through the story as well (even though the doctor does not yet measure her height on a chart).

Our 15 month appointment we much more successful that the previous visit. There were still a few tears and some fussing, but significantly less than before. We took the book and doctor's kit with us and pulled out the instruments and looked at the appropriate pages of the book before each step of the appointment. I really can't say for sure whether it was the 'practice' or simply that Lilah was having a better day and/or had matured since the last appointment that made the visit better. In my opinion, it doesn't really matter. Even if the book and the kit made no difference, we had a lot of fun playing with it (and still do) and I am positive that Lilah learned a thing or two along the way.

Some tips for making your appointments more successful:

1) Talk about the upcoming appointment the day before and/or on the day of the visit (talking about it any earlier could actually increase anxiety).

2) Read a book about what to expect at the visit.

3) Act out what to expect using a doll and/or a doctor's kit.

4) Let your child take something special to the appointment (toy/blanket) for comfort.

5) Ask the doctor to 'examine' you or your child's doll before examining your child.

6) Talk about the fun parts of the visit (toys in the waiting room, sticker/book prizes).

7) Be honest about the hard parts of the visit (ie. needles). Tell your child that it will hurt for a few seconds.

8) Distract your child while the needles are being given.

9) Provide a lot of praise after the appointment!

Good luck!

Road Trip: Part 2

Well, there really isn't much to say...the drive back to Baltimore was almost as easy and enjoyable as the drive to Ontario. Given how smoothly the initial trip went, we didn't want to change anything (don't fix what isn't broken). However, we did leave 2 hours earlier (7am vs. 9am) which put us home for dinner which was nice and we stopped less often (2X vs. 4X). It did take Lilah a little longer to fall asleep and she didn't sleep for as long (2 hours), but she was content throughout the journey. In the end, we arrived safely in Baltimore after 9.5 hours of driving.

I was so worried before we embarked on this journey that it would be a torturous 10 hours (or longer). I really should have given Lilah more credit from the get-go. She was a trooper and apparently she is a wonderful traveler. Looking back on the past year, we really could have saved ourselves some money on airfare had we had the courage it give the road trip a try. On the other hand, doing it when she was younger may have been less of a success.

Just as we discover that Lilah travels long distances well in a car, we will be getting rid of our car when we make our move to Chicago in a few short months. Our new mode of transportation will be the train. It will be a new adventure for Lilah and a more relaxing commute for my husband and I (hopefully). It will be interesting to say the least and I will be sure to post on the subject in the near future.

Road Trip: Part 1

We made the 9.5 hour drive from where we currently live in Maryland, USA to Ontario, Canada this past week. I really didn't know what to expect from Lilah, but was mentally preparing myself for it to be a LONG, challenging journey. Lilah has never had to travel any great distance in the car. I think the longest trip we have taken in the last year or so was about two hours. Anyway, I couldn't have been more wrong about how she would act! She was fantastic for the entire trip!

We debated for a long time about WHEN to do the driving. At first we thought getting in the car right before bedtime would be the best because she would hopefully sleep the entire way. We ultimately decided, however, to drive during the day because we thought it would nice for her to have time to settle down after the long journey, get used to her surroundings and then have a good, uninterrupted sleep.

I should mention that we used Lilah's infant car seat for this trip. She has always been pretty happy with her infant seat. It was only when we recently started using a new seat that she started to put up a fuss about being in the car. She is just barely under the height limit for her infant seat so we decided that we would use it for this trip because we knew she would be happier sitting in it. The next time we make the trip, she will have no choice but to sit in her new seat and my hope is that after she gets used to it and forgets about her infant seat, she will be content to ride in it.

Anyway, we started off the day by visiting the doctor for Lilah's 15 month needles. We hadn't really planned on this being a part of our adventure, but it may have helped in that it might have made Lilah a little more sleepy than usual. On the other hand, it could have totally blew up in our faces if she had developed a fever or had some kind of adverse reaction to the immunizations which apparently is more common with this round of shots.

We hit the road at about 9:00am and were able to drive for about 3 hours before making a stop. During this time, we read stories, played with a few favourite toys, watched a couple of Elmo episodes, had our morning snack and lunch. We stopped right before it was time for Lilah to take a nap so that she could stretch her legs and have a diaper change. It was a brief stop (~15 minutes) and we were back on the road. Lilah didn't fuss even a bit about getting back in her seat which really surprised me.

She fell asleep pretty bang on to her normal nap time and slept for a solid 2.5 hours which was FANTASTIC! That is a little longer than is typical for her and may have been a result of the immunizations. Whatever the reason, it was welcomed!

When she had fully woken up from her nap, we stopped for the second time (we had been in the car for close to 3 hours). It was another quick stop to nurse, stretch and change her diaper and again, there wasn't a single complaint about getting back in the seat.

We ended up making two more very brief stops (Duty Free, dirty diaper change) and were at our destination in just under 9.5 hours (the typical drive time). Lilah was happy as a clam through the very last agonizing minutes of the journey. I was so pleasantly surprised that it went so smoothly.

Things that worked for us:

1) I sat in the back seat with Lilah for the duration of the trip.
2) I packed a few favourite toys and lots of books (the toys/books that Lilah seemed particularly interested in in the days leading up to the trip.) We also took our labtop computer and a few of Lilah's favourite videos and several of her Cd's.
3) I packed lots of food for the journey (fresh fruit, yogurt, egg salad sandwiches, raisins, cookies, goldfish, cheerios, milk, water, juice.)
4) We had screens on the windows in the back seat to block out the sun and an extra blanket to drape over the car seat while she slept so it was a little darker.
5) I took her favourite blanket and a few of the toys she has in her crib for nap time.
6) We kept everything as close to our regular schedule/routine as possible (IE. snacks/meals/nap/nursing were all at their usual time.)

Hope this helps those of you planning road trips this coming summer! Think positively and happy travels!

What's Cooking? - Another New Page!

Feeding my family is of the utmost importance to me. I have a passion for cooking and I love spending time in the kitchen. In fact, almost every day, I spend at least half of Lilah's nap in the kitchen prepping ingredients for dinner. When dinner time rolls around, quickly whipping up a delicious dinner is a breeze.

At 15 months, my daughter now eats what we eat most of the time. For that reason, I have decided to start a new page, What's Cooking?, which will focus on family meals. I will make notes about Lilah's reaction to the meals and tips on how to make them toddler friendly. I will also include links to recipes whenever possible. If you are interested in a recipe that doesn't have a link, let me know and I will share it. Finally, I will note which steps of the recipe I prepared in advance to make cooking the dish easier come dinner time.

I don't think of myself as a traditional cook and I rarely make the same thing twice. We try new things as often as possible (ie. this week we are trying tempeh for the first time). I use a recipe almost every single night and try to include as much variety in our diet as I can. My ultimate goals are to feed my family good, healthy food and instill in my daughter a love for food and cooking.

Happy Cooking!

Car Seat Woes

Both the American Academy of Pediatrics and the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration announced new car seat guidelines today that every parent needs to made aware of. They are as follows:

1) Children are to ride in rear-facing seats until 2 years of age.
2) Children are to ride in a booster seat until they are 4'9".
3) Children are to ride in the back seat of the car until they are 13 years of age.

I wasn't surprised to hear the news. I had done a fair amount of research on car seat safety for a post I wrote in January about keeping children in rear-facing car seats for as long as possible (until they reach the height and weight limits for the seat.) At the time, my motivation was the number of parents that seemed all to eager to start using a forward-facing seat as soon as the minimum requirements were met (one-year AND 22 pounds.) It seemed to have become a milestone of sorts and parents were switching their children as soon as possible despite the recommendations to keep them rear-facing as long as possible (information which was not adequately communicated to parents in the first place.)

When I heard the news today, I decided to pull out and re-read the manuals for our car seats. I also measured Lilah only to find out that she is on the verge of exceeding the height limit of her rear-facing seat (32 inches.) Unfortunately, she has not reached the minimum weight requirement for her forward-facing seat (22 pounds.) This means that despite the new recommendations, we need another seat that can accommodate Lilah until she can use her forward facing seat (which is now not until she turns 2.)

Our only option at this point is to invest in yet another car seat. We considered buying a convertible seat to fill the gap, but it seems to make more sense financially to purchase a 3-in-1 seat that Lilah can use in the rear-facing position until she is 2 years old. She could then start using the forward-facing/booster seat we have already purchased and we could use the 3-in-1 seat through all three stages (rear-facing, forward-facing, booster) with our second child. My only fear is that something is going to change between now and then and we will find ourselves in a similar position. As all parents know, car seats aren't cheap and we hope to be able to use them for more than one child. With constantly changing standards and recommendations, this becomes challenging. I know these changes are in the best interests of our children, but that doesn't make it any less frustrating.

I am open to suggestions and/or recommendations!

Sharing is a Meaningless Word to a One-Year Old

As adults, we understand that other people have thoughts and feelings and that those thoughts and feelings differ from our own. As a result, we are capable of interacting with others in successful and acceptable ways (ie. we know how to share, help and cooperate.)

Toddlers in their second year of life, however, live in a very egocentric world. They know that other people exist, but they are at the center of the world. Sharing is a completely meaningless word to them. Developmentally, they can't understand what it means to share with another person.

We are very lucky to be part of a play group in which the adults recognize that sharing is very challenging for the children. We all model and encourage sharing, but know that it is a concept they are not able to truly grasp. We know that we can't referee every interaction and that there will be tears on some occasions. I believe that letting children play and learn how to play without constant parental involvement is really important. On some level, even at this young age, I think we are teaching them to learn how to resolve conflicts on their own and treat other children the way they would like to be treated.

If you are part of a play group in which the children are struggling with sharing, here are a few tips that can make play time more enjoyable for all parties involved:

1) Provide plenty of toys for everyone and be prepared to referee at times.

2) If the play group is taking place in your home, recognize that children at this age may start to show possessiveness over toys that she knows belong to her. She may get very upset when another child even touches on of her toys. It is important to try to reassure her that the other child is “only looking at it” and that “it’s okay for him to have a turn with it.” You should also acknowledge that “Yes, it’s your toy" so that your child doesn't feel as though her toys are being taken away. You may even want to consider putting a few special toys aside that are off-limits to the others to help your toddler feel they have some control over their world.

The bottom line is, make sure you and your child are having fun and that all play experiences are as positive as they can possibly be taking where your child is developmentally into consideration. There is nothing more uncomfortable than interacting with other parents that expect more developmentally from their children than they should and/or try to exert more control over the play situation than they need to. The result of this kind of parenting is a tense and less than enjoyable play experience for all of the adults and children involved.

Happy playing!

The Librarian

In my opinion, a children's librarian should have a general knowledge of children and how they develop. She should be kind and gentle and be genuinely interested in and enthusiastic about children. She should strive to foster a love for books, reading and learning in the children and parents that visit the library.

Sadly, the librarian at our local library does not fit these criteria. She doesn't seem to have an understanding of child development or what can or cannot be expected of young children. She comes across as rigid and very rule driven. I understand rules are necessary, but she goes so far as to make a visit to the library uncomfortable. And, she doesn't hide the fact that her least favourite time of the day is when school lets out and children file into the library to be tutored or check out books. Part of me thinks she would be happier if children avoided her section of the library altogether.

The thing that irks me the most about this woman is her unwillingness to be flexible and accommodating when it comes to childrens' participation in the library programs that she runs.

Let me take a moment to describe the programs I am referring to. The baby program is geared to children ages 0-36 months and the toddler program is geared to 2-year olds. You might notice that there is some overlap in the ages for which the programs are targeting. Children between 24 and 36 months have the option of attending either program. Interestingly, a significant amount of the content of the programs overlap as well. The 30-minute baby program has children sitting in one place for the duration of the session. The librarian sits at the front and begins the session by telling parents that they are to retrieve their children if they wander too close to her. In other words, the children are not welcome to get anywhere near the books, her puppets or anything else she may have around her that may inevitably tempt them. She then proceeds to read a story (using puppets at times), sing songs, pass out bells for the children to ring and pass around a drum on which the children are to drum out the syllables of their name. We have attended this program a number of times and, in my opinion, this program seems to be geared toward children that are not yet crawling or walking and who are content to sit in one place for that period of time. The toddler program is much the same with the exception of the books, songs and instruments that are used.

Back to my rant...I, along with other moms/caregivers of children under the age of two, have approached this librarian about bringing our children to the toddler program for various reasons. For some it is because the children are developmentally ready for the program. For example, the children are crawling or walking and have difficulty sitting in one place for 30 minutes. For others it is because the children nap at the time the baby program takes place, but they would still like to get their children involved. In all of our cases, the librarian discouraged us from bringing our children stating "they really need to be mobile to participate in the toddler program" as her reason (meanwhile the children are crawling/walking/running around the library). Obviously, I understand that it would be inappropriate to bring a 2 month old to a program designed for 2-year olds, but she shouldn't be overly concerned about a walking 15- month old.

The library is a public place (and the programs are free) and parents and children should be able to come and go as they please without being made to feel like they are unwelcome. If parents are trying to get their children involved in programs that are going to be beneficial to them, they should be encouraged to do so especially in this day and age when there are so many children out there struggling to learn how to read and write.

Lilah + Doctor = A Freak Out

Well, Lilah has figured out what a visit to the doctor is all about. The Lilah + doctor = needles connection has been made! I saw it coming, but never expected it would be this bad. At her 12 month appointment, she was fine until the nurse came in and she saw the needles. She cried as soon as she saw them because she knew what was about to happen. We just had a follow-up appointment today and the crying started as soon as I put her on the table to be weighed and measured! She settled a little when we left the baby room and went to our exam room, but she started crying again as soon as the doctor walked in and tried looking in her ears and listening to her heartbeat. The screaming really started when the nurse came back to give her the needles. Luckily, I had taken along a few of her favourite books to distract her and these did help to calm her down, but ultimately it was leaving that did the trick.

Needless to say, it was a rough 30 minutes. I knew that this day would come, but that doesn't make it any easier. I know it is for her own good, but I can't say I enjoy having to restrain my daughter while she screams her head off.

A family member suggested buying a book about the doctor as it really helped her daughter deal with her visits. Given how much Lilah LOVES books and how much information she seems to draw from them, I decided to give it a try. This afternoon we took a walk to the book store and bought a book about visiting the doctor. My goal is to read it to her often enough over the next several weeks such that she is prepared for her appointment at the end of April. Only time will tell if this plan will work. Wish me luck!

The Common Cold, Episode 2

My poor baby girl is sick with a cold and there is snot everywhere! Luckily, it is only her second cold (and if we don't count the one night that she puked a couple of times for no known reason a few months back), it is only the second time she has been sick since birth. Part of me wants to attribute it to the fact that I am still breastfeeding, but the research suggests my role in that department was over many months ago (around 6 months.) I can, however, take partial credit for the kick-ass immune system she has obviously inherited!

And when did I become okay with snot being smeared all over my clothing and using my shirt to wipe a nose other than my own? (Don't pretend to be grossed out because I know you have used your shirt to wipe your own nose at least once in your life.) I guess it was around the same time that I became okay with eating my daughter's leftover and smashed up food. It is one of those things that non-parents cringe at (as I once did), but now seems like second nature. It is just what we do!

Breastfeeding a very congested toddler is definitely a challenge! This afternoon when my daughter woke from her nap she was so congested that she couldn't breath through her nose at all and no matter whether she was lying beside me or elevated in my arms, nursing just wasn't working. I felt so bad for her because she cried and cried as all she wanted to do was nurse and be comforted. I finally decided to dig out my breast pump (which I hadn't used in over 2 months.) I wasn't keen on the idea of pumping again and considered warming some homo milk for her instead, but because the little voice in my head kept telling me over and over again "Breast is Best", I decided to bite the bullet.

As I haven't pumped since December, my daughter also hasn't had to drink from a bottle for that period of time. I wondered if giving her a bottle was even a good idea at this point and thought about giving her my milk in a cup instead. In the end, I opted for the bottle because I figured she would be more likely to drink from it and because it is such a rare occurrence there was no worry about her becoming attached (it is generally recommended that the bottle be given up at 12 months of age, 18 months at the latest and replaced with a cup.)She resisted the bottle at first, but soon decided that it was acceptable. I wasn't able to get very much milk when I pumped so she was still hungry when the bottle was empty at which point, I filled it with cold homo milk and she continued to drink happily. Never mind that it was over the course of the next half and hour while she toted the bottle around the apartment everywhere she went. It wasn't until she put it down to do something more exciting that I was able to get it away from her without a fuss. But, that was that and she didn't seem to give it a second for the rest of the day. Luckily, her congestion had cleared enough by the this evening that she was able to nurse before bed.

Here's hoping we have a good night and that Lilah wakes spry as a cricket in the morning!

The Transition to Self-Feeding

A typical day in the life of a mother of a 'learning to self-feed toddler' looks a little something like this...

Breakfast - 8:00am - There are bits of food covering the dining room floor, the table and chairs, my clothes and every inch of my daughter.

Snack -10:00am - There are bits of food covering the dining room floor, the table and chairs, my clothes and every inch of my daughter.

Lunch - 11:30am - There are bits of food covering the dining room floor, the table and chairs, my clothes and every inch of my daughter.

Snack - 3:00pm - There are bits of food covering the dining room floor, the table and chairs, my clothes and every inch of my daughter.

Dinner - 5:30pm - There are bits of food covering the dining room floor, the table and chairs, my clothes and every inch of my daughter.

You get the general idea.

After each sitting, it will take me about 10 trips to the sink and rinses of the washcloth and a change of clothes (and perhaps a bath) to clean up my daughter and another 10 trips to the sink and rinses of the washcloth and a broom to clean up the rest of the mess. No wonder my hands are so dried out that my fingers tips are cracking! I suppose I could wear rubber gloves, but who wants to walk around wearing rubber gloves all day (as there really would be no point in taking them off.)

I have made this transition sound a lot worse than it actually is. In all honesty, it is a lot of fun wathcing my daughter learn how to handle a spoon. As with anything in life, practice makes perfect! She now knows how to scoop her food out of her dish and get the spoon into her mouth. The spoon is often upside down by the time it reaches her mouth and the contents in her lap, but at least she is trying and getting better at it each day! I have found baby sign language to be very helpful when it comes to mealtimes. Lilah can tell us when she wants more (and say please) and when she is done (although she often resorts to the "throwing food on the floor" technique to let us know she is done when she doesn't feel like signing.)

That being said, the transition doesn't come without frustration. One of the forces driving the desire to self-feed is increasing independence. Translation: "I don't want your help anymore so don't even try it or I will just get upset and do everything in my power to block my mouth in an effort to prevent you from putting anything in it!" I often worry that my daughter isn't getting enough to eat. I have to keep telling myself over and over again: "She will eat when she is hungry. If she doesn't eat much at this meal or today, she will make up for it at the next meal or tomorrow."

It is also frustrating when I work hard to prepare something for her to eat only to have her reject it completely or mush into oblivion such that it has to be thrown out. I hate to waste so I often end up eating what she doesn't (unless it has been mushed into oblivion) which I always told myself I would never do because I thought it was disgusting when other people did it. (I will have to stop that little habit eventually because I remember reading somewhere that mothers often gain weight when they eat what their child doesn't in addition to their own food.)

As with any transition, this one is gradual. You really have to be on your toes and be willing to try a number of different techniques (or tricks) to get that food where it needs to go. Some days Lilah will happily let me shovel food into her mouth. On others she will be fine with me loading the spoon, but she will want to put it into her mouth. On others she will want the spoon and the bowl all to herself and will not accept any assistance whatsoever. Similariy, a trick will work one day, but not the next and then eventually not at all. It used to be the case that if we put a piece of cheese or pasta on top of whatever was on the spoon, Lilah would gladly let us spoon feed her. Now, she insists on putting the cheese or pasta on the spoon herself. Before long, she will want to do it all herself.

Before long, Lilah will be happily feeding herself AND getting almost everything into her mouth. Eventually there will be less of a mess to clean up and we won't require a change of clothes after every meal. Until then, I need to stay calm and enjoy the ride.

Travelling with a toddler: packing, security and passing time

A couple of weeks ago, my daughter took her 8th plane ride as part of our trek home after an extended holiday vacation! I can’t believe that she has now been on more flights in her first year of life than I had been on in the 30 years before she was born!

Given that we have done a significant amount of travelling over the course of the last year, particularly on airplanes (and in many cases without my husband), I thought I would write another blog about our experiences for others that might be travelling for the first time with an infant or toddler. (See my June 23, 2010 post for more about travelling with an infant.)

As you can imagine, packing has become significantly easier because I now know what I really need and don't need to bring, particularly in my...our...I mean, Lilah's carry-on (let's be honest, I carry very little for myself these days...lip chap, a few tissues and identification is about all I can lay claim to in the carry-on bag.)

In the early days, packing the carry-on bag was a challenge, or so I thought. That was before Lilah started eating solid food when in actuality it was SO much easier. It just seemed harder because at that time I was still figuring out what I needed. All I really needed in those days was enough diapers to make it through the trip, wipes, one or two favorite (small and quiet) toys, a book or two, Lilah's blanket and my breastfeeding beads and shawl. I should mention that although you might think you can predict the number of diapers you might need on your trip, packing as many as you can fit is always a good idea for a couple of reasons. You really never can tell what might come up (or should say out) AND I just found out today from a friend that diapers in the airport are ridiculously expensive! If you happen to be stranded in the airport for any reason you don't want to have to pay close to $10.00 for 2 diapers...definitely worth squeezing in as many as you can fit.

These days, I pack many of the same things AND all of the food Lilah may or may not want to eat while we are travelling. The food and everything that is needed to feed a toddler (spoons, washcloths, bibs) now takes up the majority of space in the bag. Luckily, carry-on restrictions for liquids don't apply to baby food. I have carried water in her sippy cup, jarred food, fruits and snacks through without a problem (I do always keep everything food related together in a zip lock and take it out of the carry-on bag when we go through security to avoid any problems.) Every toddler is different, but my advice is to pack small amounts of a variety of things so that if they happen to decide that day they don't want to eat something, you have other options. Eating is also a good distraction while you are waiting in lines, at your terminal or in the plane so taking more snacks than you would typically feed your little one doesn't hurt.)

Speaking of security...this can be a challenge when you are travelling alone with your child. This may sound odd (keep in mind I am an organizational freak), but I make it a habit to find a bathroom before I go through security and take off my belt, watch and coat/sweater and undo my shoes to make the process easier. I also take off Lilah's coat/sweater and shoes ahead of time as well (yes, you do have to remove their shoes and any coat/sweater/sweatshirt they might be wearing!) If everything that is excess has been removed and is packed neatly away before you go through, it is less stuff you have to worry about removing while holding your child and about grabbing on the other side.

Once you are on the other side, passing the time until you board your plane can be a challenge. On our most recent trip, we found a place in the terminal where we could clearly see the planes landing and taking off. Lilah was obsessed with watching them and we passed almost 2 hours with that little activity. Walking up and down the terminal has also proved to be a fun time waster (although holding on to mommy's hand and keeping hands off of the floor were key to making this work). Finding a book store in the terminal is great because they often have a kids section where you can quickly read through a couple of board books to pass some time. Lastly, eating is always a classic way to pass time.

I have really enjoyed the travelling we have done over the last year even though I started out thinking it was going to be stressful and challenging. Lilah is a great little traveller which helps immensely and I would have no hesitations about taking her on another trip. If you are going to be travelling with your little one, my advice is to pack carefully and just relax and enjoy the trip! Remember, our kids feed off of us and if we are stressed out and anxious, they are going to be too!

British Medical Journal declares MMR/Autism link fraudulent

In case you missed this on the news, the British Medical Journal officially declared that Andrew Wakefield's research linking the MMR vaccine to autism was fraudulent. Sadly, children's lives have been put in danger and there is much work to be done to repair the damage this man has done.

Here is a quick summary of the events of the past 13 years (as outlined in the linked article below):

1998 - Andrew Wakefield and 12 others publish a paper claiming a link between the MMR vaccine and autism and so begins the vaccine scare (note that the paper had a number of scientific limitations that were immediately evident...small sample size, dependent on parent recall, no controls).

1998-present - Research repeatedly demonstrated/continues to demonstrate no evidence of a link, but the vaccine scare continues.

2003-2004 - Vaccination rates hit an all time low (and they continue to remain lower than recommended World Heath Organization levels).

2004 - The first investigation into the research is published suggesting possible fraud and 10 co-authors retract the paper's interpretation.

2010 - Article retracted.

2011 - BMJ declares research fraudulent.

To read the full text article (British Medical Journal) click on the link below:

Wakefield’s article linking MMR vaccine and autism was fraudulent

http://www.bmj.com/content/342/bmj.c7452.full

Baby Sign Language - The Reward Period

From a very young age, we pretty consistently signed 'milk', 'all done', and 'more' and somewhat regularly signed 'mommy' and 'daddy' with Lilah. At 12 months of age, she finally started to sign back! I was so thrilled! We were driving in the car and I was feeding her a banana (of course I wasn't driving) and she signed ‘more’! Since that time, she has been using it on occasion and we continue to work on the others. We have added 'food' which she has picked up on very quickly (after only a few days of exposure) and we are starting on 'please' and 'thank you'. I think it is just great that she is learning how to communicate with us in ways other than grunting, crying and fussing.

At one time it was believed (and still is by some) that teaching a baby to sign can delay speech. Research has shown over and over again in that this is NOT true and is, in fact, the opposite of what happens. Babies that are taught and use baby sign language speak sooner and use more complex sentences earlier. There are a number of additional benefits including a reduction in frustration and aggressive behaviours like biting.

If you are interested in signing with you baby, it is recommended that you start around the 6-9 month mark (but it is never to late to start). We started earlier than this, but for us it was more about getting into the habit of doing it (which helped because I think if I tried to start doing it later on, it would have been more difficult than it already was to be consistent).

You might be wondering when your baby will sign back to you (which I myself was wondering until a short time ago). As with most other developmental milestones, it varies widely. Generally speaking though, you can expect you baby to sign back to you sometime between 6 and 14 months of age depending on how frequently and consistently you sign.

If you want more information on baby sign language and/or would like to look up some signs just do a Google search and you will be set!

Have fun and good luck!

Rear facing beyond age 1 and 22 pounds...IT'S SAFER!

I recently watched a video on YouTube about a young boy (18 months) that had been involved in a front impact crash while sitting in a forward-facing car seat. The boy's head, arms and legs were violently thrown forward in the crash and he suffered severe spinal cord damage as a result. It was hard to watch and prompted me to do some research of my own on the use of forward-facing car seats (as one should do before believing anything they see/read on YouTube or anywhere on the Internet for that matter)!

I bought my daughter's forward-facing seat several months ago and up until today my husband and I had planned on putting her in the seat as soon as she reached the 22lb minimum weight restriction (given that she is now a year old). That is no longer the case! I have since discovered that the the 22lb weight restriction is the ABSOLUTE MINIMUM weight at which a child should be taken out of a rear-facing seat and that the Government of Canada, Transport Canada and the American Academy of Pediatrics are but a few of the organizations that STRONGLY encourage parents to use rear-facing seats for as long as possible. Luckily, we purchased a rear-facing car seat with a maximum 32lb weight limit and as long as my daughter's head is an inch below the top of the back if the seat, she can continue to use it until she reaches the weight limit and will!

If you are not convinced that you should continue to use your rear-facing seat for as long as possible consider this:

1) The American Academy of Pediatrics (and other organizations) are working to strengthen the rules and regulations regarding car seat safety including encouraging car seat manufactures to make rear-facing seats to accommodate children up to the age of 4 years.

2) When conducting crash tests on forward-facing car seats, Transport Canada uses dummies that are similar in size to the average 3 (35lb), 6 and 10 year old child. They don't conduct tests for children under 35lbs! Translation: we don't know what happens to children under 35lbs when they are involved in a crash in a forward-facing seat. I don't know about you, but I don't want to find out what might happen.

It seems as though parents are in too big of a hurry to put their children into forward-facing seats. I really don't know what is behind this drive because it is clearly not what is in the best interests of our children as far as their safety is concerned. I have heard a number of "reasons":
-"my child is just not happy in a rear-facing seat"
-"the rear facing seat takes up too much room in the vehicle"
-"my child's feet are touching the back seat and he/she appears to be uncomfortable".
None of these (or other) reason are strong or convincing enough to justify making the switch before it is absolutely necessary.

The Take-Home Message:

You don't HAVE to put your child in a forward-facing seat just because they are one year of age and 22lbs. This the ABSOLUTE MINIMUM age/weight you can switch them and NOT the RECOMMENDED age/weight at which you should make the switch. You should keep your child in his/her rear-facing seat FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE. If your car seat has a low weight limit, you should consider buying another rear-facing seat that will allow you to keep your child rear-facing for a longer period of time. As parents, the safety of our children should be our number one concern, not cost, not space or any of the others "reasons" parents use to justify making the switch before it is absolutely necessary!

The Beginning of the End of Breastfeeding

I suppose that title sounds a little more dramatic than I intended, but that doesn't negate the fact that it is a pretty big deal to me that I have dropped one of Lilah's daytime nursing sessions. As I mentioned in my last post, it seemed to make sense to drop the mid-morning feeding that she normally would have had when she woke from her morning nap given that we have eliminated said nap. She is still nursing 3 times a day (and twice in the night... but that is a separate issue altogether) so we have plenty of opportunities to strengthen our mother-daughter bond, relax, and enjoy a few quiet moments together. Even so, it makes me sad to think that I only have a few more months left to enjoy it.

I have thoroughly enjoyed the breastfeeding experience and it will be quite a transition for me when I give it up (probably more so than for Lilah). I know I don't have to give it up because many people breastfeed for much longer than I plan to, but I am going to given that I would like to have another child at some point in the not-so-distant future and don't want to be nursing two children at the same time nor do I want to be breastfeeding a child that is old enough to ask to be nursed. I do plan on continuing to nurse first thing in the morning and at night before bedtime for an indefinite period of time (most likely until I am well into my next pregnancy unless Lilah gives them up on her own), but by the time Lilah is 18 months I will most likely have given up her mid-afternoon feeding and both night feedings.

I will be spending the next few months making the most of the nursing sessions Lilah and I have left and will look forward to starting the process all over again with our next child. At this point in time, I really can't foresee myself doing much of anything differently with the next child aside from perhaps trying to reduce night feedings down to one per night earlier such that it doesn't become as much of a habit as it has with Lilah (again, a completely separate issue that I will probably discuss in another post).

One nap a day...still adjusting!

We have officially made the transition to one nap a day! Over the course of the last couple of weeks, Lilah was skipping her afternoon nap more often than she was taking one so I decided it must be time. We have been on the one-nap-a-day schedule for about 3 days now and things seem to be working themselves out. Lilah has been eating an earlier lunch at around 11:30am and then going down for her nap at about 12:00/12:15pm. Ideally, I would like her to be eating lunch closer to noon and going down for her nap at about 1:00pm. I will try to push her a little later each day and we will get there eventually. As with any transition, I need to be patient.

Of course, there are pros and cons to our new routine...

Pros:

+She has been falling asleep almost instantly because she is dead tired come nap time and she has been sleeping for about 2 hours which is about the same amount of time she was sleeping for when she was taking two naps.
+She is getting a solid chunk of sleep rather than two shorter stints which I think is more beneficial as far as sleep goes.
+We have a much longer chunk of time in the morning to get out and/or play

Cons:

-Lunch time has become a little more challenging because she is quite tired and, therefore, more fussy and less likely to eat a decent lunch (I am hoping this will change as we settle into our new routine).
-I haven't been getting through the shower and ready for the day until after noon which needs to change. I am planning on getting into the routine of showering before my husband leaves for work which should solve this particular problem.
-I am still adjusting to not having a break in the morning. The days seem much longer, but I am sure I will adjust as well.

Other notes:

-The change in nap schedule has had no effect on her nighttime wakings. I had hoped that perhaps giving up one of her naps would lead to longer stretches of sleep at night. No such luck!
-I have decided to drop her mid-morning nursing session and replace it with a snack. I am not ready to give up nursing, but because she would normally nurse when she woke from her morning nap it just seemed to make sense to drop that particular feeding along with the nap. She isn't asking to be nursed and doesn't seem to miss it. I felt as though she needed to be eating a little more solid food than she was so this should help with that as well.

This is only the beginning of a year of constant change! Hold onto your hats, hopefully it is not going to be too bumpy of a ride.

On a different note, it is becoming more challenging to find time to sit down and write these days, but stay tuned because one of my resolutions was to make more time to blog. I have a lot of ideas for posts and several in the works!