Both the American Academy of Pediatrics and the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration announced new car seat guidelines today that every parent needs to made aware of. They are as follows:
1) Children are to ride in rear-facing seats until 2 years of age.
2) Children are to ride in a booster seat until they are 4'9".
3) Children are to ride in the back seat of the car until they are 13 years of age.
I wasn't surprised to hear the news. I had done a fair amount of research on car seat safety for a post I wrote in January about keeping children in rear-facing car seats for as long as possible (until they reach the height and weight limits for the seat.) At the time, my motivation was the number of parents that seemed all to eager to start using a forward-facing seat as soon as the minimum requirements were met (one-year AND 22 pounds.) It seemed to have become a milestone of sorts and parents were switching their children as soon as possible despite the recommendations to keep them rear-facing as long as possible (information which was not adequately communicated to parents in the first place.)
When I heard the news today, I decided to pull out and re-read the manuals for our car seats. I also measured Lilah only to find out that she is on the verge of exceeding the height limit of her rear-facing seat (32 inches.) Unfortunately, she has not reached the minimum weight requirement for her forward-facing seat (22 pounds.) This means that despite the new recommendations, we need another seat that can accommodate Lilah until she can use her forward facing seat (which is now not until she turns 2.)
Our only option at this point is to invest in yet another car seat. We considered buying a convertible seat to fill the gap, but it seems to make more sense financially to purchase a 3-in-1 seat that Lilah can use in the rear-facing position until she is 2 years old. She could then start using the forward-facing/booster seat we have already purchased and we could use the 3-in-1 seat through all three stages (rear-facing, forward-facing, booster) with our second child. My only fear is that something is going to change between now and then and we will find ourselves in a similar position. As all parents know, car seats aren't cheap and we hope to be able to use them for more than one child. With constantly changing standards and recommendations, this becomes challenging. I know these changes are in the best interests of our children, but that doesn't make it any less frustrating.
I am open to suggestions and/or recommendations!
Monday, March 21, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Sharing is a Meaningless Word to a One-Year Old
As adults, we understand that other people have thoughts and feelings and that those thoughts and feelings differ from our own. As a result, we are capable of interacting with others in successful and acceptable ways (ie. we know how to share, help and cooperate.)
Toddlers in their second year of life, however, live in a very egocentric world. They know that other people exist, but they are at the center of the world. Sharing is a completely meaningless word to them. Developmentally, they can't understand what it means to share with another person.
We are very lucky to be part of a play group in which the adults recognize that sharing is very challenging for the children. We all model and encourage sharing, but know that it is a concept they are not able to truly grasp. We know that we can't referee every interaction and that there will be tears on some occasions. I believe that letting children play and learn how to play without constant parental involvement is really important. On some level, even at this young age, I think we are teaching them to learn how to resolve conflicts on their own and treat other children the way they would like to be treated.
If you are part of a play group in which the children are struggling with sharing, here are a few tips that can make play time more enjoyable for all parties involved:
1) Provide plenty of toys for everyone and be prepared to referee at times.
2) If the play group is taking place in your home, recognize that children at this age may start to show possessiveness over toys that she knows belong to her. She may get very upset when another child even touches on of her toys. It is important to try to reassure her that the other child is “only looking at it” and that “it’s okay for him to have a turn with it.” You should also acknowledge that “Yes, it’s your toy" so that your child doesn't feel as though her toys are being taken away. You may even want to consider putting a few special toys aside that are off-limits to the others to help your toddler feel they have some control over their world.
The bottom line is, make sure you and your child are having fun and that all play experiences are as positive as they can possibly be taking where your child is developmentally into consideration. There is nothing more uncomfortable than interacting with other parents that expect more developmentally from their children than they should and/or try to exert more control over the play situation than they need to. The result of this kind of parenting is a tense and less than enjoyable play experience for all of the adults and children involved.
Happy playing!
Toddlers in their second year of life, however, live in a very egocentric world. They know that other people exist, but they are at the center of the world. Sharing is a completely meaningless word to them. Developmentally, they can't understand what it means to share with another person.
We are very lucky to be part of a play group in which the adults recognize that sharing is very challenging for the children. We all model and encourage sharing, but know that it is a concept they are not able to truly grasp. We know that we can't referee every interaction and that there will be tears on some occasions. I believe that letting children play and learn how to play without constant parental involvement is really important. On some level, even at this young age, I think we are teaching them to learn how to resolve conflicts on their own and treat other children the way they would like to be treated.
If you are part of a play group in which the children are struggling with sharing, here are a few tips that can make play time more enjoyable for all parties involved:
1) Provide plenty of toys for everyone and be prepared to referee at times.
2) If the play group is taking place in your home, recognize that children at this age may start to show possessiveness over toys that she knows belong to her. She may get very upset when another child even touches on of her toys. It is important to try to reassure her that the other child is “only looking at it” and that “it’s okay for him to have a turn with it.” You should also acknowledge that “Yes, it’s your toy" so that your child doesn't feel as though her toys are being taken away. You may even want to consider putting a few special toys aside that are off-limits to the others to help your toddler feel they have some control over their world.
The bottom line is, make sure you and your child are having fun and that all play experiences are as positive as they can possibly be taking where your child is developmentally into consideration. There is nothing more uncomfortable than interacting with other parents that expect more developmentally from their children than they should and/or try to exert more control over the play situation than they need to. The result of this kind of parenting is a tense and less than enjoyable play experience for all of the adults and children involved.
Happy playing!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
The Librarian
In my opinion, a children's librarian should have a general knowledge of children and how they develop. She should be kind and gentle and be genuinely interested in and enthusiastic about children. She should strive to foster a love for books, reading and learning in the children and parents that visit the library.
Sadly, the librarian at our local library does not fit these criteria. She doesn't seem to have an understanding of child development or what can or cannot be expected of young children. She comes across as rigid and very rule driven. I understand rules are necessary, but she goes so far as to make a visit to the library uncomfortable. And, she doesn't hide the fact that her least favourite time of the day is when school lets out and children file into the library to be tutored or check out books. Part of me thinks she would be happier if children avoided her section of the library altogether.
The thing that irks me the most about this woman is her unwillingness to be flexible and accommodating when it comes to childrens' participation in the library programs that she runs.
Let me take a moment to describe the programs I am referring to. The baby program is geared to children ages 0-36 months and the toddler program is geared to 2-year olds. You might notice that there is some overlap in the ages for which the programs are targeting. Children between 24 and 36 months have the option of attending either program. Interestingly, a significant amount of the content of the programs overlap as well. The 30-minute baby program has children sitting in one place for the duration of the session. The librarian sits at the front and begins the session by telling parents that they are to retrieve their children if they wander too close to her. In other words, the children are not welcome to get anywhere near the books, her puppets or anything else she may have around her that may inevitably tempt them. She then proceeds to read a story (using puppets at times), sing songs, pass out bells for the children to ring and pass around a drum on which the children are to drum out the syllables of their name. We have attended this program a number of times and, in my opinion, this program seems to be geared toward children that are not yet crawling or walking and who are content to sit in one place for that period of time. The toddler program is much the same with the exception of the books, songs and instruments that are used.
Back to my rant...I, along with other moms/caregivers of children under the age of two, have approached this librarian about bringing our children to the toddler program for various reasons. For some it is because the children are developmentally ready for the program. For example, the children are crawling or walking and have difficulty sitting in one place for 30 minutes. For others it is because the children nap at the time the baby program takes place, but they would still like to get their children involved. In all of our cases, the librarian discouraged us from bringing our children stating "they really need to be mobile to participate in the toddler program" as her reason (meanwhile the children are crawling/walking/running around the library). Obviously, I understand that it would be inappropriate to bring a 2 month old to a program designed for 2-year olds, but she shouldn't be overly concerned about a walking 15- month old.
The library is a public place (and the programs are free) and parents and children should be able to come and go as they please without being made to feel like they are unwelcome. If parents are trying to get their children involved in programs that are going to be beneficial to them, they should be encouraged to do so especially in this day and age when there are so many children out there struggling to learn how to read and write.
Sadly, the librarian at our local library does not fit these criteria. She doesn't seem to have an understanding of child development or what can or cannot be expected of young children. She comes across as rigid and very rule driven. I understand rules are necessary, but she goes so far as to make a visit to the library uncomfortable. And, she doesn't hide the fact that her least favourite time of the day is when school lets out and children file into the library to be tutored or check out books. Part of me thinks she would be happier if children avoided her section of the library altogether.
The thing that irks me the most about this woman is her unwillingness to be flexible and accommodating when it comes to childrens' participation in the library programs that she runs.
Let me take a moment to describe the programs I am referring to. The baby program is geared to children ages 0-36 months and the toddler program is geared to 2-year olds. You might notice that there is some overlap in the ages for which the programs are targeting. Children between 24 and 36 months have the option of attending either program. Interestingly, a significant amount of the content of the programs overlap as well. The 30-minute baby program has children sitting in one place for the duration of the session. The librarian sits at the front and begins the session by telling parents that they are to retrieve their children if they wander too close to her. In other words, the children are not welcome to get anywhere near the books, her puppets or anything else she may have around her that may inevitably tempt them. She then proceeds to read a story (using puppets at times), sing songs, pass out bells for the children to ring and pass around a drum on which the children are to drum out the syllables of their name. We have attended this program a number of times and, in my opinion, this program seems to be geared toward children that are not yet crawling or walking and who are content to sit in one place for that period of time. The toddler program is much the same with the exception of the books, songs and instruments that are used.
Back to my rant...I, along with other moms/caregivers of children under the age of two, have approached this librarian about bringing our children to the toddler program for various reasons. For some it is because the children are developmentally ready for the program. For example, the children are crawling or walking and have difficulty sitting in one place for 30 minutes. For others it is because the children nap at the time the baby program takes place, but they would still like to get their children involved. In all of our cases, the librarian discouraged us from bringing our children stating "they really need to be mobile to participate in the toddler program" as her reason (meanwhile the children are crawling/walking/running around the library). Obviously, I understand that it would be inappropriate to bring a 2 month old to a program designed for 2-year olds, but she shouldn't be overly concerned about a walking 15- month old.
The library is a public place (and the programs are free) and parents and children should be able to come and go as they please without being made to feel like they are unwelcome. If parents are trying to get their children involved in programs that are going to be beneficial to them, they should be encouraged to do so especially in this day and age when there are so many children out there struggling to learn how to read and write.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Lilah + Doctor = A Freak Out
Well, Lilah has figured out what a visit to the doctor is all about. The Lilah + doctor = needles connection has been made! I saw it coming, but never expected it would be this bad. At her 12 month appointment, she was fine until the nurse came in and she saw the needles. She cried as soon as she saw them because she knew what was about to happen. We just had a follow-up appointment today and the crying started as soon as I put her on the table to be weighed and measured! She settled a little when we left the baby room and went to our exam room, but she started crying again as soon as the doctor walked in and tried looking in her ears and listening to her heartbeat. The screaming really started when the nurse came back to give her the needles. Luckily, I had taken along a few of her favourite books to distract her and these did help to calm her down, but ultimately it was leaving that did the trick.
Needless to say, it was a rough 30 minutes. I knew that this day would come, but that doesn't make it any easier. I know it is for her own good, but I can't say I enjoy having to restrain my daughter while she screams her head off.
A family member suggested buying a book about the doctor as it really helped her daughter deal with her visits. Given how much Lilah LOVES books and how much information she seems to draw from them, I decided to give it a try. This afternoon we took a walk to the book store and bought a book about visiting the doctor. My goal is to read it to her often enough over the next several weeks such that she is prepared for her appointment at the end of April. Only time will tell if this plan will work. Wish me luck!
Needless to say, it was a rough 30 minutes. I knew that this day would come, but that doesn't make it any easier. I know it is for her own good, but I can't say I enjoy having to restrain my daughter while she screams her head off.
A family member suggested buying a book about the doctor as it really helped her daughter deal with her visits. Given how much Lilah LOVES books and how much information she seems to draw from them, I decided to give it a try. This afternoon we took a walk to the book store and bought a book about visiting the doctor. My goal is to read it to her often enough over the next several weeks such that she is prepared for her appointment at the end of April. Only time will tell if this plan will work. Wish me luck!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
The Common Cold, Episode 2
My poor baby girl is sick with a cold and there is snot everywhere! Luckily, it is only her second cold (and if we don't count the one night that she puked a couple of times for no known reason a few months back), it is only the second time she has been sick since birth. Part of me wants to attribute it to the fact that I am still breastfeeding, but the research suggests my role in that department was over many months ago (around 6 months.) I can, however, take partial credit for the kick-ass immune system she has obviously inherited!
And when did I become okay with snot being smeared all over my clothing and using my shirt to wipe a nose other than my own? (Don't pretend to be grossed out because I know you have used your shirt to wipe your own nose at least once in your life.) I guess it was around the same time that I became okay with eating my daughter's leftover and smashed up food. It is one of those things that non-parents cringe at (as I once did), but now seems like second nature. It is just what we do!
Breastfeeding a very congested toddler is definitely a challenge! This afternoon when my daughter woke from her nap she was so congested that she couldn't breath through her nose at all and no matter whether she was lying beside me or elevated in my arms, nursing just wasn't working. I felt so bad for her because she cried and cried as all she wanted to do was nurse and be comforted. I finally decided to dig out my breast pump (which I hadn't used in over 2 months.) I wasn't keen on the idea of pumping again and considered warming some homo milk for her instead, but because the little voice in my head kept telling me over and over again "Breast is Best", I decided to bite the bullet.
As I haven't pumped since December, my daughter also hasn't had to drink from a bottle for that period of time. I wondered if giving her a bottle was even a good idea at this point and thought about giving her my milk in a cup instead. In the end, I opted for the bottle because I figured she would be more likely to drink from it and because it is such a rare occurrence there was no worry about her becoming attached (it is generally recommended that the bottle be given up at 12 months of age, 18 months at the latest and replaced with a cup.)She resisted the bottle at first, but soon decided that it was acceptable. I wasn't able to get very much milk when I pumped so she was still hungry when the bottle was empty at which point, I filled it with cold homo milk and she continued to drink happily. Never mind that it was over the course of the next half and hour while she toted the bottle around the apartment everywhere she went. It wasn't until she put it down to do something more exciting that I was able to get it away from her without a fuss. But, that was that and she didn't seem to give it a second for the rest of the day. Luckily, her congestion had cleared enough by the this evening that she was able to nurse before bed.
Here's hoping we have a good night and that Lilah wakes spry as a cricket in the morning!
And when did I become okay with snot being smeared all over my clothing and using my shirt to wipe a nose other than my own? (Don't pretend to be grossed out because I know you have used your shirt to wipe your own nose at least once in your life.) I guess it was around the same time that I became okay with eating my daughter's leftover and smashed up food. It is one of those things that non-parents cringe at (as I once did), but now seems like second nature. It is just what we do!
Breastfeeding a very congested toddler is definitely a challenge! This afternoon when my daughter woke from her nap she was so congested that she couldn't breath through her nose at all and no matter whether she was lying beside me or elevated in my arms, nursing just wasn't working. I felt so bad for her because she cried and cried as all she wanted to do was nurse and be comforted. I finally decided to dig out my breast pump (which I hadn't used in over 2 months.) I wasn't keen on the idea of pumping again and considered warming some homo milk for her instead, but because the little voice in my head kept telling me over and over again "Breast is Best", I decided to bite the bullet.
As I haven't pumped since December, my daughter also hasn't had to drink from a bottle for that period of time. I wondered if giving her a bottle was even a good idea at this point and thought about giving her my milk in a cup instead. In the end, I opted for the bottle because I figured she would be more likely to drink from it and because it is such a rare occurrence there was no worry about her becoming attached (it is generally recommended that the bottle be given up at 12 months of age, 18 months at the latest and replaced with a cup.)She resisted the bottle at first, but soon decided that it was acceptable. I wasn't able to get very much milk when I pumped so she was still hungry when the bottle was empty at which point, I filled it with cold homo milk and she continued to drink happily. Never mind that it was over the course of the next half and hour while she toted the bottle around the apartment everywhere she went. It wasn't until she put it down to do something more exciting that I was able to get it away from her without a fuss. But, that was that and she didn't seem to give it a second for the rest of the day. Luckily, her congestion had cleared enough by the this evening that she was able to nurse before bed.
Here's hoping we have a good night and that Lilah wakes spry as a cricket in the morning!
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